Time to celebrate as you just said Yes to the Man of your dreams. Everything is pretty, nice and exciting.
But according to Charlie O’Brien, there are some things no one tells you about when it comes to wedding planning. Here are some of those.
Choosing a dress from the 500,000 styles available
As soon as you say ‘I do’ the whole world wants to know what sort of dress you’ll be wearing on the big day. Um – a white one?
Planning a theme
Rock ‘n’ roll chic on a festival-esque farm …
Sushi and champers by the sea …
A butterfly garden in friggin outta space ….
Everyone expects you to come up with an original never-seen-before theme. There are no new ideas people!
How about ‘wedding theme’?!
You’re suddenly forced to decide what your favourite colour is.
What if you just don’t have a favourite colour? Make one up.
…probably not that good at wedding planning either.
No you’re not invited (but I don’t have the guts to tell you)
The minute you get engaged all you hear is ‘am I invited?’ Erm, well you weren’t …. Dammit.
The wedding breakfast
Everyone suddenly develops ‘dietary requirements’ when it comes to your wedding meal choice. Helpful.
Hobbycraft becomes strangely alluring. Even though you’re utterly sh*t at crafts. But you’ll still try and make your own budget paper bouquet/balloon arch/place names/card receiving box anyway.
And fail miserably.
Families become a pain in the backside
Great Aunt Sally who hasn’t emerged in public since 1978 MUST be invited.
How about second cousin thrice removed Roy? It won’t be the same without him!
Becoming acquainted with wedding terminology
Wedding breakfast – is not cereal and toast. Nor is it served at breakfast time.
Receiving line – you don’t receive anything worthwhile.
Favours – no one’s offering to help change your tyre.
What about the kids?
Don’t invite the kids and alienate all the parents on your list.
Do invite the kids and all the parents on your list spend the day saying ‘Sshhhh’ and looking pissed off.
Invest in crayons and colouring books for the day – because that’ll totally keep children of all ages entertained for 10 hours, right?
Last minute panic when you realise seven days before you totally forgot to order kids’ meals. Chicken nuggets and chips OK? (Don’t tell Jamie Oliver)
Answer – there IS no answer.
Picking the first dance song
Mild panic sets in when you realise that you don’t really have a ‘song’.
Frantically scan your memory for a time you had a romantic moment and try to recall what tune was playing in the club when you met and briefly consider Nelly’s Hot in Here.
Quickly decide that Nanna won’t approve so go for something by Ed Sheeran – he’s pretty romantic, and wedding-y, right?
Aside from being a fun task to do, planning a wedding also harness every brides problem solving skill. Of course, who wouldn’t want their big day to be perfect right?
1. How do we ask our parents if they can contribute to our wedding?
‘Many parents like to chip in for your big day but talking about cold, hard cash is often a difficult and awkward thing to do. Couples often find it easier to ask parents to contribute to specific elements of that day – catering, entertainment or champagne – that way you are not simply asking them for a lump sum without them knowing what they are paying for.’
2. If our parents are paying for the wedding, how much say should they have in our decisions?
‘Have an upfront conversation with budget contributors asking them how involved they expect to be in the planning process, saying something along these lines: “Are you happy for us to make the choices and use your money as a very generous gift? Or, would you like to play a part in the planning decision?”
That way, before you even accept any help you can have a conversation as a couple about the expectations attached to any contribution.’
3. We want an intimate wedding, but our parents want to invite all their friends…
‘If you want a small celebration with 50 to 60 guests, ensure your parents don’t think that by the paying for it, they are entitled to invite an extra 50 of their friends. If your parents are keen for you to have a large wedding, make sure they are being realistic and that they have the budget to help you support in achieving that.’
4. Can I invite an ex to our wedding?
‘This is a tricky one. Has he or she moved on or do they still obviously hold a flame for you? How would you feel if your groom-to-be invited their ex too? Honesty is always the best policy. Draw up your guestlist together and very quickly you will both see if there are any question marks or issues. The important thing is to air any problems now before the Big Day itself.’
5. Should we invite more people in case there are drop outs?
‘When it comes to general party guestlists, the rule of thumb is that you can expect 10 per cent of people to drop out. However, if people have been given enough notice, they will usually pull out all the stops for a wedding. The last thing you want to do is over-invite and suddenly have to try and accommodate all the extra numbers.’
‘Instead, have an A and B list. Invite the guests who are really important to you on your A list. Then wait a little bit until you have got their RSVPs before you send out further invites to those on your B list. Make sure that you do work within a very short time span because there is nothing worse than a guest on the B list getting their invite six months later than others.’
6. We haven’t heard back from some of our guests – is it rude to chase them up?
‘Always put on your invite when you want your guests to RSVP by. If you haven’t heard back from them in this time, then it is perfectly acceptable to chase them. Also, tell guests how you would like them to RSVP. Always provide an e-mail address.’
7. What do I do if my fiancé’s guest list is bigger than mine?
‘Even the most placid of couples can find themselves exploding over names and numbers! The fairest way is to give each other an equal amount of guests. Always draw up your lists first – and agree on numbers – before going to your sets of parents. If it starts to seem like your numbers are getting out of hand, then be realistic: put a price to each guest by costing up your cost per head. It then becomes clear if you do want them there or not.’
8. How do I involve my parents without it becoming their wedding?
‘The first thing to remember is that the moment you announce you are getting married, it’s not just the realization of your dreams, but most likely your parents’ too. For mothers, this is the moment many will have imagined. So tread gently – especially if they are contributing financially.
‘Make them feel involved, but only ask their opinions on decisions if you are really going to listen to them. There is nothing worse than asking advice and then ignoring it completely! Give them jobs to oversee. Perhaps one set of parents is passionate about wine; give them the task of selecting the bottles for the table.’
9. Should I invite people who asked us to their wedding?
‘For most couples, weddings will be budget-busting affairs. Therefore, do not feel obliged to “return the favour” and invite couples you ordinarily wouldn’t have invited, just because you went to their wedding. Ask yourself: are these people going to be in your life in the next five to 10 years?’
10. Should I invite my work colleagues and boss to our wedding?
‘Ultimately, this is your day and you don’t want anyone there who is going to make you moderate your behaviour. You don’t want to spend your celebrations worrying about your embarrassing Uncle regaling your colleagues with what you used to do as a three year old. Likewise, you should feel completely at ease blubbing your way through the ceremony or going crazy with your girls on the dancefloor in front of all of your guests.’
11. Should I invite children to the wedding?
‘Consider whether or not you have children already in your extended family or bridal party and how many of your friends already have children. The best advice is to speak to a friend who is a parent.
‘Talk to them about the type of day you are planning and whether or not it is child friendly from a parent’s point of view. You can then start putting into place either nannies or entertainers if you would like children to play a part. Or, you can just say to your friends as parents, “Unfortunately we are not inviting children.” Just be sure to give them enough time so that they can make childcare arrangements.
‘If you do decide to have children at your Big Day, you want to make sure that you give parents as much notice as possible on the timings. Give them a rough running order and let them know the spaces available for their children to use and what they might be eating. It will allow parents to bring the toys and snacks that they need to entertain their children and manage their behaviour.’
Read more at http://www.nowmagazine.co.uk/now-says/11-wedding-dilemmas-brides-need-solving-294987#Uy5jxgwAEixa7cYB.99
Planning a wedding is not a walk in the park process. It actually includes a lot of work and love for detail.
And don’t you wish you knew some things about wedding planning before you start it yourself.
We’ll here are some things you need to know according to Richard Beech.
1) If you’re going to spend big money on something, spend it on a great photographer that’s how you’re going to remember the day
2) Getting people to RSVP by post (but freestyle) is really fun apart from the days when no one arrives and then it’s a bit sad
3) You have to pay for the Church and RENOUNCE YOUR SINS
4) Don’t mention the word wedding to the reception venue if you don’t have to they instantly pop 50% extra onto any charge, just tell them you are having a big party
5) They will try to charge you to cover the chairs and they want you to put pillow cases/KKK hoods on chairs. Just cover them yourselves, with something that isn’t a pillow case!
6) When you go see the registrar at the town hall to post notice they’ll ask you whether you’re related to your fiance(e). And that making the appointment in the first place is a massive palaver if you cannot easily take time off between the hours of 9am and 3.30pm on weekdays
7) You need to do Google searches in incognito windows or you could be followed around the internet by pictures of your wedding dress, which is BAD news if you use the same computer as your partner
8) You will become embroiled in the most tactical of all battles fighting family matriarch figures regarding who you can and can’t invite to your own wedding
9) Some places charge you to hire each fork
10) Vintage means double the price
11) People WILL ask for your wedding Pinterest board so make sure you keep it up to date!
12) You can’t take photos of wedding dresses you try on in shops until you have bought it and you have to pay to try on wedding dresses
13) You cannot trust the opinions of the women who work in wedding dress shops. You just can’t
14) Men, when buying new shoes remember to remove the price tags from the soles before kneeling at the altar
15) Cats like hats with feathers. Remind your mother-in-law of this fact well in advance to avoid cat (and hat) disappearing off down the bottom of the garden just as the car arrives to leave for the church
16) Some photographers will throw in a pre-wedding shoot if so, DO IT. You’ll feel a lot more at ease with them on the big day
17) Get your snaps done before the reception so everyone can relax and have a chat afterwards
18) A lot of venues run special offers. It pays to do your research and ask, even if they don’t seem to be currently available19) Babysitters. Seriously, the best investment you can make if a lot of your guests are
parents – the sitters take care of the kids so the mums and dads can relax. They also sit with the kids at their own table, where the parents can see but don’t feel they have to rush over and help
20) Get a good band if the groom can play a number with them, it’ll probably make him happy
21) Your guests will keep asking where the venue is, and what time the wedding is even though the wedding is TOMORROW PEOPLE!
22) Most venues charge you for corkage
23) Some stranger is going to see you basically naked (trying on dresses) so you better shave your legs and wear matching undies
24) But mainly: Try not to get too focused on detail. Although YOU’LL notice that not all the doves were released at the same time, for everyone else it’s magical and lovely. Nobody will focus on the small details – they are just happy for you
Ah, wedding day. We thought we knew it all, but then again we don’t. Aside from being it one of the most special day in your life, there are some other things that no one tells us about your wedding day.
And Deborah Cicurel have listed 20 things about our wedding day that no one tells us about.
1. You won’t be able to eat
Due to extreme excitement, stress and, if you’re really lucky, a stress-induced cold.
2. You will worry about the silliest of things
Not whether the groom will turn up, but whether his best man will be wearing the correct flower in his buttonhole.
It’s the minute details that count, right?
3. You will feel strangely calm
You expected the day to be a flurry of nerves and worry, but while you sit there and get your hair and make up done, you just can’t wait to say ‘I do’ and get the party started.
Also, it really is too late to care if something goes wrong.
4. Something will go wrong
You forget your hair accessory, your dress won’t quite close or the make up artist has made you look like Dolly Parton.
5. But you don’t really care
There’s no point being a Bridezilla when you’re moments from walking down the aisle, so you decide to embrace the mistakes and rock that slightly-too-small dress.
6. Walking down the aisle is rather fun
You thought you’d be in floods of tears, but you’re actually quite enjoying all the attention.
7. SO MUCH ATTENTION
Everyone is taking photos of you, screaming your name and trying to high five you.
You kinda feel like Beyonce.
8. Everyone is crying apart from you
What’s there to be sad about? Plus, you don’t want to spoil that intricately crafted eye make up.
9. Your cheeks hurt
You never thought you could smile this much.
10. Your husband looks happy to see you
YAY. He likes your dress. He looks cute. Isn’t this all delightful?
11. Husband?! Lol
Yeah, that one will take some getting used to.
12. The ceremony is emotional. Very
OK, maybe one or two tears won’t hurt the make up.
13. You will feel like Kim Kardashian at some point
There are videographers and photographers and fans following you around the whole time, and it’s amazing.
Why do famous people complain about the intrusion?
14. Even if you literally wore a black Primark onesie, everyone would compliment you constantly
‘OMG, your dress is amazing!’ ‘You look beautiful!’ ‘What a happy couple!’ Keep them coming, guys!
15. You have the best time ever
You thought you’d be running around worrying about the catering and flowers, but the minute the party starts, you just don’t care.
16. The speeches are inappropriate
Meh, polite ones would be boring.
*You make a note to yell at your new brother-in-law at a later date*
17. It feels no different being married
You expected something to feel new or unfamiliar, but everything feels exactly the same.
Apart from the fact you’ve got a REALLY expensive, pristine white dress on you, of course.
18. The dress doesn’t stay pristine for long
Let It Go.
You’ve done your dramatic walk down the aisle: the minute that’s over, dance the night away as if you were in a student club in Birmingham wearing hot pants.
The dress will get tattered, but you’re never going to wear it again anyway.
19. Never going to wear it again anyway?
A horrible realisation, this one. So much money spent on it. Just a few hours wearing it.
20. You will be SO DEPRESSED once the day is over
Yes, we know, it’s not the end, it’s just the beginning.
Weddings and how they are done vary depending on the culture and religion of the couple being married. Some may look like other wedding tradition of a different culture while others do not.
Gemma Cartwight has given us some information on how British weddings differ from other weddings.
1. We Have an All-Day Breakfast
Kind of! The meal at a British wedding is known as the “wedding breakfast,” even if you eat it at 5 p.m. Apparently this harks back to when the bride and groom would fast before they married in the morning. Now, it’s just one of those quirky traditions we refuse to let go of.
2. Speaking of Mornings . . .
It’s not unusual for the dress code of a more traditional wedding to specify that morning dress is encouraged. This refers to the “daytime formal” men’s attire that includes a top hat, waistcoat (vest), and tailcoat. It’s worn by many grooms and groomsmen but only occasionally by all guests. In fact, I went to one wedding that specifically stated that morning dress for guests was not welcome!
3. We Don’t Have a Cocktail Hour
Until I started reading Martha Stewart Weddings, I had no idea the wedding cocktail hour even existed, but it’s one of the US wedding trends I hope comes over to the UK. That said, we need no indication that it’s time to drink at a UK wedding. The Champagne has already been poured!
4. You Can’t Marry in Your Back Garden
In the UK, wedding venues must have a license, which is granted by the local council. There are all kinds of rules that must be followed, including one that says the proceedings are freely open to the public. So unless you’re willing to leave the garden gate open (and fill out a whole load of paperwork), picking an already licensed venue is the only option. Luckily, most hotels, country houses, event spaces, and sports venues have licensed rooms or areas.
5. We’re Animals on Our Last Single Night Out
What you call a bachelorette party, we call a hen party (or a hen do, if you prefer). Bachelor parties are stag dos. Traditionally, these involve lots of laughter, lots of alcohol, and plenty of ritual humiliation, though more and more brides are moving away from the “L” plates, “Bride to Be” sashes, and penis straws and opting for something a little more subdued like an afternoon tea, spa day, or dinner. Weekends away in Europe are also popular, either somewhere hot and sunny or somewhere where the alcohol is dirt cheap. Some Eastern European cities welcome thousands of British stag parties each year!
6. Bridal Shower, Schmidal Schmower
Though we’ve been introduced to this fine tradition through the wonders of Pinterest, the bridal shower isn’t a thing in the UK. We spend enough money on the hen party, the gift, and the wedding itself! Holding yet another party for the already busy bride hasn’t made it onto our agenda yet.
7. An Open Bar Isn’t a Given
I’ve probably paid for my own drinks at about 50 percent of the weddings I’ve attended. Often drinks with the meal (and Champagne for toasts) will be covered, but the evening reception will have a paid bar.
8. Hats Are Still a Thing
There was a time when a hat was pretty much a requirement for a church wedding in the UK. This has definitely changed, but you’ll still see hats at society weddings and traditional ceremonies. Now they’re more of a token, mostly worn by grandmas, the mother of the bride, and girls who love dressing up. The general rule is the posher the wedding, the more hats. Younger women will often opt for fascinators or headpieces instead.
9. You Get a Sweet Doggie Bag
The British wedding cake is traditionally a fruit cake covered in marzipan and royal icing. It’s sliced up by the caterers after the bride and groom have done the official first cut for photos. It’s then wrapped in napkins and given out to guests to take home. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve found a smushed-up wedge of cake in my clutch bag the morning after the night before.
10. You Have to Be Careful What You Wear
The standard rules (don’t wear white; don’t wear black; don’t wear anything too short, tight, or low cut) apply at most British weddings, but there’s a whole minefield of other places you can go wrong as a guest. Some people consider green unlucky; ditto peacock feathers (so that time I wore a green dress and a peacock feather in my hair was just great). Some brides marrying in church may request that all female attendees wear tights or stockings and/or cover their shoulders. And then there are the ones who specify a color scheme, or worse, “fancy dress” (not your nicest clothes – this means costume!).
11. We Don’t Have a Zillion Bridesmaids, but We Do Pay For Them
Royal weddings aside, having loads of bridesmaids isn’t really that popular in the UK, with most brides picking two to four adult bridesmaids and perhaps one or two flower girls. Perhaps this is because traditionally the bride (or her family) will pay for their outfits. This is changing (thank you, Internet), and it’s now more popular for a bridesmaid to buy or contribute to her own dress or to buy her own shoes and accessories, but many still expect that if they’re going to be shoved into unflattering avocado taffeta, they’re not going to have to buy it themselves!
Valentines Day is here. And since 1997, Valentine’s week has also been known as Marriage Week in the UK.
Here are some of the top facts about Marriage we liked as listed by William Hartston.
10. ‘There is not one in a hundred of either sex who is not taken in when they marry (Jane Austen).